I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
