My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
