I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
