i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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