i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
