There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
