your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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