Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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