there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
