Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
