I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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