i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
