I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
