sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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