Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize