Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
