she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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