question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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