I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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