so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
