I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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