So drunk its hurt
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
