I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
