somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
