I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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