That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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