eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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