wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Who died my cat blue again?
I supernannyed him into submission
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
