Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
