in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
