I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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