Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize