You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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