I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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