i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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