When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
