i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
