everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
