I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
