A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize