Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize