I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
