Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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