Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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