Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
