One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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