WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
