thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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