I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
