my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
