I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
