I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
