Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
