Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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