Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
