His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
