could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
