and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
