if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
