Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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